


It's Always Been You

by Melusine11



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Birthday Dinner, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:55:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22981348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melusine11/pseuds/Melusine11
Summary: On the night of her 21 birthday Rey drunkenly suggests a marriage pact with her coworker and good friend, Ben: if they're both still single when they turn 40, they get married. Ben proposes the night of his 40th birthday, but Rey is almost 10 years younger than he is.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 65
Kudos: 409
Collections: Reylo Prompt Fills (@reylo_prompts)





	It's Always Been You

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot was written as part of the Babies at the Border 2019 - a multifandom anthology accessed by making a donation to the ACLU or RAICES (and honestly there's never a bad time to donate to either of those places if you're able to).
> 
> A huge thank you to VeriLee and commandercrouton for looking over this and putting up with me freaking out over getting this done on time six months ago.
> 
>   
> 

“Okay,” he breathes the word, swallowing and then another shaky exhale before swiping his tongue over his lips. Not chapped. Good. He inspects his appearance again in the mirror, fiddles with the collar, unbuttons a button, observes the results with a quick frown before buttoning it back up. A quick check of his watch says he still has five minutes before he needs to leave to make it on time. 

He can’t be late. He’s never been late a day in his life, and being late now would only raise her suspicions that something is wrong. And there’s not, nothing is wrong, other than he has turned 40 today. Running a hand through his hair one more time he scrutinizes the way it has fallen down over his ears, across his forehead and determines this is as good as he’s going to get.

The drive to the restaurant is thankfully brief, or he spaced out for all of it, preparing his speech, he can’t be sure, but he swears it used to be a longer trip.

Rey’s there, waiting for him, looking radiant as always, but especially so tonight, in a deep burgundy dress that fits her in all the right places. “Ben!” She calls, waving him over to where she’s waiting at the bar with a margarita. “Twenty-minute wait when I got here, hopefully, closer to fifteen now,” she informs him as he settles on the seat next to her.

“I’m not in a hurry,” he says, flagging down the bartender and ordering a whiskey neat.

“So,” She drags the vowel out for too many seconds as she spins to face him, the heel of her shoe hooking over the silver footrest at the base of his chair. “How was your day so far? What have you done?”

“Cleared out my work inbox,” he begins, earning a frown, “slept in for at least twenty minutes.” An eye-roll this time, “I ate a lot of carbs at breakfast.”

“You can do better,” she teases, “it’s your birthday, Ben! Just another decade until I can throw you an over the hill party!”

“Hang on, no. I am vetoing that idea right now.”

“I was only teasing, don’t look so grumpy.”

“I can’t help it, that’s just my face.” Her laughter is a balm to his soul. He takes a drink and watches her smile. “Really though, I just relaxed, this is the most exciting part of my day.”

“Well, I’m honored. Save room for dessert, in that case. And ice cream.”

“Two desserts?”

“Sure! It’s your birthday and you _know_ calories don’t count on your birthday. Plus it’s a good night for ice cream.”

“You think every night is a good night for ice cream.”

“Because it is,” she answers sagely, knocking gently against his calf with her closest foot, and then pulling it back to rest on her own seat.

They both jump when the pager begins to vibrate on the bar top. “This is us.” She grins, picking it up and striding off ahead of him to the hostess station, margarita in her other hand. He watches the way the skirt of her dress swishes around her knees, the way her hips sway, the way the fabric of the dress clings to her ass to give enough of a hint of it before falling away.

* * *

_He can do this_.

“Are you alright Ben?” Rey asks, spoon covered in lava cake and vanilla ice cream, frozen halfway to her mouth.

He nods, rubbing his palms across his slacks. “Yes. I’m fine.” It sounds harsher than he intends and he takes a breath. “I have something to say,” he announces. And it’s too late to turn back.

Rey places her spoon back in the plate, and Ben watches melted ice cream and gooey chocolate ooze across the porcelain. “I’m all ears.”

“I’ve been thinking about this all day, all well, all month, maybe, I don’t know anymore, it’s all hazy. And I just. I know, Rey. I know that this is crazy, and it shouldn’t work and you’re my best friend and maybe we shouldn’t, but I’m so–” he curls his hands into fists beneath the table, relaxes them. “I’m in love with you, Rey.” He can see the surprise flash across her face, but he barrels on. “For years, Rey, but I didn’t want to scare you off, or I don’t know, ruin our friendship, but I knew. You said. When we both then 40 and if we were still single, we would just get married. And I want that. I didn’t at first, because you were so drunk when you said it,” he forces out a laugh, tries to ignore the way she was still frozen across from him. “So, shit, I rehearsed this. It was better in my bedroom.” This at least gets a laugh out of her, and he knows he can keep going. “So we should get married.” The finish is weak, he knows it is, so he picks up his water and drinks it.

“Please say something,” he rasps, when Rey is still silent across from him.

“Okay.” She takes a deep breath and shifts in her seat, eyes firmly on the dessert between them. “I’m still 30, Ben.”

It’s a whisper, but she may as well have screamed it. He had forgotten. So caught up in his own birthday, his own midlife crisis over the woman he loves and _oh he’s fucked up_.

Their waitress materializes from nowhere when a smile. “Everything okay here? How are we enjoying dessert so far?”

“It’s delicious,” Rey covers, polite smile in place, Ben manages to muster up one of his own. 

“Wonderful, I’ll just leave this here, you two let me know if you need anything else.” The smile is sickly sweet as she places the folder with the bill inside on their table before retreating to check on her other tables.

Ben’s smile falls immediately, breath hitching in his chest, and he’s forty years old and he is _not_ going to cry over dessert right now.

“I-I should go. I need to go.” He stands hastily, flinches away from Rey when she reaches towards him, quietly whispering his name.

He keeps his composure all the way through the restaurant, winding around tables and people until he can make it outside. The night air is cool and he drags in deep breaths of it. Smells from the kitchen, garlic and bread and meat reach his nose as he hurries through the parking lot to his car. His hands are shaking and he’s glad he has a button ignition so he doesn’t have to fail repeatedly at getting his keys to work. He doesn’t even try to look for Rey as he speeds past the front of the restaurant towards home. 

“Idiot,” he hisses at himself, stopping at a red light. “Stupid fucking idiot.” He punctuates each word with a punch to the steering wheel. And then the tears come.

The rest of the drive home is a literal blur, as he has to keep swiping at his eyes to rid them of the tears. He pulls into his garage and shuts off the car.

Finally, he rests his head on the steering wheel, hands gripping the bottom of it so tightly he feels like he could easily twist the material right off of it. 

He doesn’t know how long he sits there, wishing he could rewind the night and not say anything with his stupid fucking mouth and ruin his stupid fucking birthday and his relationship with his best friend and the best thing in his life. Urgent tapping at his window startles him from his self-depreciation session and he jumps, turning to glare at whoever has the nerve to stroll into his still open garage and fucking knock when he’s clearly in the middle of a crisis.

Rey is standing there, looking just as wrecked as him and he hiccups.

“Go away, Rey,” he says, loud enough to be heard over the closed door, turning so she can’t see him.

“No,” she answers, and then he blanches when he hears the door open, god damn car and it’s automatic driver's side unlocking feature when the car shuts off. “Ben, I’m sorry.”

He scoffs, “sorry that I’m a pathetic idiot who thought-”

“Stop.” Her gentle hands settle on his face and turn him towards her. He is still crying, torn between the need to pull away from her and nuzzle into her touch. “You’re not a pathetic idiot,” she murmurs, fingers brushing away his tears as her own fall. “You aren’t,” she repeats, then withdraws from him with a huff. 

He watches, confused for a moment as she kicks off her heels, and then she’s rucking up her skirt and awkwardly climbing into the car with him. His hands come up around her hips instinctively and she presses her forehead against his, eyes fluttering shut as she breathes.

“You aren’t an idiot, I am,” she tells him. “I’m so sorry, Ben, I just - you surprised me and I said the wrong thing.”

“You didn’t, it’s true.”

“It can be both things,” she says, pulling away and sniffing. “I-” she blinks, “you’re pretty when you cry.” Ben balks at that, and Rey reaches for him again. “It’s distracting. I just want to kiss away your tears-”

“Rey.” His grip on her tightens and he swallows, rolling his jaw and looking away from her. Doesn’t she know, she’s just twisting the knife at this point. “Please, you’re making this harder than it needs to be, just-”

“I love you,” she blurts, and it shocks him. “I love you too, that’s what I should have said, instead of being an idiot, but I was so surprised. That you remembered since you never once mentioned my dumb idea since I said it that night. You’re so good and kind and patient and I’ve been in love with you for years, Ben Solo, I’ve just been waiting for you to notice me too. I just always hoped you wouldn’t take so long, and then I thought you didn’t feel the same way, and I was okay with that, because look at me, I’m no one, and you’re you, and why _would_ you.” He gapes at her and he’s still crying, but it’s different now.

“You’re not,” he clears his throat and pulls her closer. “You’re not no one, Rey, not to me.”

He reaches up to brush away her tears, cups the side of her face and draws her to him. He can feel the way her breath feathers across his skin as she sighs in the moment before their first kiss. It’s gentle, a light meeting of lips

“Don’t stop,” she whispers when he pulls away slightly, chasing after him in the small space of the front seat of his car.

The second kiss is still tentative until Rey nips at his bottom lip and fists her hands in his hair. He retaliates, nipping back at her, tracing at the seam of her lips until she opens up to him. He can taste the salt of her drying tears, is sure she can taste the same on him, along with the remnants of the rich chocolate of their dessert, but cut through with an undercurrent of _Rey_. Ben feels like he could devour her, lets his hands roam freely, caressing her sides, her waist, thumb arcing along her jawline, pressing back to tangle in her hair. She moans against his mouth, shifts in his lap and finally breaks the kiss by pulling on his hair. She rests her forehead against his, panting hard and smiling.

“Wow,” he says quietly, and she laughs, kissing him again, a quick peck. He chases her lips this time, nipping, sucking, and then diverting away from her mouth to kiss a line down her throat. He relishes in the way her small gasps fill the small space, seem louder than they really are, and makes it his mission to see what other noises he can draw out of her.

She squirms again, shifts forward, pressing fully against him and they both groan at the contact. Rey hums, sounding pleased as he mouths at her décolletage and grinds forward against him, he swears against her skin. He’s so fucking hard in his pants it’s uncomfortable.

“Ben,” she gasps when he tugs her dress down until her breasts pop out. He wrestles with the fabric until it stays, propping up her marvelously perky tits to his hungry gaze. 

“Rey.” He reaches down, finds the lever he wants and reclines his seat, it barely creates more room, but he feels like his cock isn’t being strangled by his zipper. “You’re so gorgeous, god, look at you.” He reaches up and gently thumbs a nipple, watching the bud tighten and pucker beneath his touch. He glances up and finds Rey blushing under his scrutiny. “Is this okay?” He asks, suddenly nervous all over again.

“Yes,” she breathes, pushing her chest into his hand before leaning down and kissing him again, grinding against him. “Wanna see you too,” she mutters between kisses, and then her fingers are at his buttons undoing them quickly until she can slide her hands beneath the fabric and touch his skin. Her breath shudders out of her and he pinches her other breast gently.

She pulls back, smiling as she works at the other buttons until she reaches his pants and bites her lip, glancing up at him. Ben moves first, tugging the shirt out of where it’s tucked in and sitting up, attempting to wrestle his way out of his shirt. He jostles Rey, who bumps into the horn on the steering wheel, scaring them both.

They stare at each other, panting, before they start to laugh, and then they’re kissing again, sloppy and desperate. Ben groans, thrusting up towards her center when her lips capture his earlobe.

“I have a bed,” he utters, and Rey groans running her hands over his exposed chest. “Not that I’m opposed to the car,” he continues, “but I want to take my time with you Rey, make you come while you’re writhing on my sheets the first time I make you come.”

She releases his earlobe with a wet pop and leans back to smile down at him. “Well, how can I argue with that?”

He helps her from his lap, makes sure she’s steady on her feet on the floor of his garage before climbing out of his car and closing the door. Rey presses her body against his in an instant, wrapping her arms around his torso and hugging him tightly, Ben is quick to reciprocate.

“Can we have naked or nearly naked hugs all the time?” She asks, breath fanning over his chest and he laughs.

“Anything you want,” he agrees, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. When she tips her face back to smile up at him, he knows if he wasn’t already a goner for her, that’s all it would take. That brilliant smile.

She shifts up onto her toes, closing the distance between them for another kiss.

He bunches up her skirt in a fist, dragging it back up to her waist, and Rey secures her arms around his neck and hops up, wrapping her legs around him as his hands find her ass to hold her steady. Ben growls low in his throat, kneading her flesh, rocking her against him and then he stumbles towards his door, punching blindly at the garage door button until the rattling noise of the tracks is heard.

They make it into his kitchen and Rey is pushing his shirt off of him, he concentrates on maneuvering them back to his bedroom while she begins to attack his belt buckle. The leather whispers through the loops as she pulls it free, letting it clatter to the floor of his hall.

He finally falters when her little hand wedges itself between his skin and fabric and wraps around his cock. She releases a huff of breath as they collide with the wall and then smiles innocently up at him like she isn’t running her thumb over the weeping tip of him.

“I wanna taste you,” she whispers, teeth sinking into her bottom lip, and he helps ease her feet back onto the floor.

“Rey,” he croaks, watching her sink to her knees and finish unzipping his pants, helping her push them and his briefs down over her thighs, and then his hands are against the wall, supporting him as the woman he loves stares at his cock for a long moment. She hums happily, smiles up at him, and his jaw drops to his chest as he watches her pink tongue appear and lick a stripe over his cock, base to tip and back down again. She kisses him there, slow teasing kisses before she finally wraps her lips around the tip of him and one of his hands falls to settle on her head.

It doesn’t take him long to realize he isn’t going to last at the pace she’s keeping, and he’s definitely not as young as he used to be so he pulls gently at her hair, smiling at the way she pouts. “The bed,” he reminds her, as he helps her stand.

He kicks out of his pants while Rey shifts her dress to unzip it, then shimmies until it falls to the floor. They collide next to the bed, and Ben is quick to maneuver them so he can press Rey back until she lays on it.

He’s got his fingers curled in the edges of her lace underwear when he stills over her. “We don’t have to,” he reminds her gently.

Rey snorts, inelegant, and raises her hips. “So help me, Ben Solo. I’m in love with you, but if you don’t start putting that mouth to better use I’m perfectly capable of taking care of things myself while you stand there and watch.”

“We can try that later,” he growls while yanking the fabric down her legs and she nods, laughing easily now. Kissing the delicate bone of her ankle cuts her laugh off into a garbled moan and it’s his turn to laugh. “How’s this?”

“Better,” she tells him, hooking her other foot around him and pulling him closer, “but still neglectful,” she pouts, then bites her lip as she sinks her hand between her thighs. Ben watches her for a moment, then drags his heated gaze up to meet hers before he shoulders between her legs, easing down onto his knees on the floor.

“I’ve changed my mind,” he moans, massaging his thumbs into the flesh of her inner thighs, just below where she’s touching herself. “By all means, keep going, show me what you like,” he tells her when she pauses. He hears her gasp ‘ _fuck_ ’ before her fingers begin to move again, dipping down between her glistening folds and back up to her clit again. He moves until he’s got a hand loosely wrapped around his cock, barely stroking, just enough to take the edge off as he watches her tease herself. It’s not until she desperately gasps his name that he leans in and kisses her cunt. Rey jerks against him and he does it again. “Don’t stop,” he tells her, waits until she's making jerky circles over her clit again before licking at her. Ben curls an arm around her left thigh and moans against her when her fingers tightly grasp his hair, pulling him impossibly closer to her. His nose keeps bumping her fingers, and she's thrusting up against his face now as his tongue continues to work. It’s an effort of concentration to not stroke his cock like a man possessed and instead keep his pace slow. She gasps his name, and her fingers begin to move faster, in turn so does he, and then she’s crying out wordlessly, legs trembling, closing around his ears. Rey’s hand falls away, but Ben keeps up his attention on her, wanting to taste everything she has to give.

“Oh my god, Ben, stop, stop, stop,” she’s gasping and laughing as she tries to push his face away from his center with one hand and pull at his hair with the other. “Give a girl a minute to recover, holy shit.”

He finally relents and mourns the loss of Rey’s touch, as she throws both hands over her face and breathes deeply. “Holy shit,” she breathes again, and he stands to crawl over her on the bed. “Don’t look at me like that,” she says, peeking out from between her fingers as he hovers above her.

“Don’t look at you like what?” he asks, running a wide palm from her soft stomach up to the undersides of her breasts. “You’re beautiful.”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it,” she huffs, dropping her hands to stare up at him. “I’m talking about that smug as hell smile.”

“You’re fucking hot when you come,” he diverts, then ducks his head to suckle at her tits for a few moments, enjoying the way it makes her squirm, enjoying the way she definitely blushes all the way to her chest as she covers her face to laugh into her hands.

When he finally settles back on his heels between her legs, he feels the urge to pinch himself, surely this can’t be real. Rey shifts up onto her elbows and bites her lip, eyes roving hungrily over his body. Several decades ago he probably would have preened a bit at the attention, and while he’s still in excellent shape for his age, he still feels nervous butterflies in his stomach - because this is Rey and he’s madly in love with her.

Her lips twitch and he readies himself for her thoughts. “ _You’re_ fucking hot. Damn, Solo, I knew you were,” she waves a hand at him, “but you’re even better with your clothes off.”

He clears his throat and smiles. “Thank you.”

“Come here,” she sighs, falling back onto the sheets and stretching her arms out towards him. Eagerly he falls into her embrace, loving the way she feels beneath him. He kisses her until his lungs burn, and his palms rest heavy on her thighs. “I’m yours, you know,” she tells him, a whisper against his cheek.

He reaches for one of her hands, dragging her arm from around his back until he can find it, and then rests it over his heart. “And I am yours.”

She blinks, smiles wobbly, and he thumbs away a tear that escapes. “Ben, please.”

He shifts between her legs, reaches down for his cock, and hesitates. “I don’t have-”

“I do. I mean, IUD, and I’m clean, so-” whatever else she was going to say is swallowed up by a gasp as he finally enters her. A shallow thrust and he groans at the feeling.

“Fuck. I’m not gonna last. You feel incredible,” he tells her, rocking into her slowly. Taking his time with her until he bottoms out. “You okay?” he asks, finally focusing on her face instead of where they’re joined together, startled to find tears still falling.

“I’m good. Great, you feel - I love you,” she gasps, turning her focus from the ceiling to his face.

He grasps her left hand, pushing it up to rest beside her ear, twining their fingers together. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing that,” he confesses before leaning closer to kiss her. “I love you, too," he tells her when they part, and then he begins to move, keeping his forehead pressed to hers.

It’s slow and so far removed from the frantic pace that brought them here. There will be time enough for that later, for now, all he wants is to feel her, love her.

Rey’s right calf raises, finding a home over his lower back as she rocks up into him. “Don’t stop.”

Ben has no plans to stop, tells her as much and she hums happily. He isn’t sure how much longer it is before her hand tightens around his and she gasps his name. “I’ve got you, Rey,” he tells her and then grunts in surprise at her violent shuddering as she comes around him. His thrusts become more urgent, as he chases her over the edge. He kisses her hard as he comes, struggles not to completely collapse on top of her, and when he’s finally spent manages to fall to her side, fingers still tangled together.

* * *

He wakes up to hair in his face, and a warm body tucked up against his. Gently he brushes Rey’s hair out of his face and presses a kiss to the back of his neck.

“Morning,” she says, wriggling her ass back against his cock, which is currently far more awake than he is.

“What time is it?” he asks, letting the arm draped over her move, hand drifting down her stomach to the small thatch of curls that rest above her entrance.

“Almost eight,” she rolls onto her back and turns her head to smile at him, dropping her phone to the mattress beside her. “I was thinking we could stop at my house, then go get breakfast.”

“Hmm?” His fingers find her already wet and she widens her legs for him. “Why are we stopping at your house?”

“Because I only have the dress I wore last night, and as much as I love you, I don’t exactly want to get married in a dirty, wrinkled dress.” She grasps his wrist when he starts to pull away. “I suppose I could always ask Rose to pick something up for me and bring it here.” She looks at him again now, frozen beside her and she frowns, “unless you didn’t mean it.” her words come out slowly, legs clamping shut on their hands.

“I did,” Ben rushes to say, can read the fear clearly in her eyes. 

Rey smiles as she relaxes, then she’s pushing at his shoulder until he surrenders to lay back on the bed. “Good,” she murmurs, grasping his cock and shifting to sit astride his thighs, “because City Hall is open in an hour, and _ohhh,”_ she moans as she slides down onto him slowly. Her eyes are wide and bright and Ben is so awake now. He slides his palms over her thighs until he can cradle her waist with them. “What was I saying?” she asks, breathless.

“City Hall,” Ben prompts and she hums above him before leaning over and kissing him. It’s stale and sour and Ben couldn’t care less about that, because it’s Rey and _holy shit_ , it’s _Rey_. “We don’t have to,” Ben tells her when she breaks the kiss.

“I want to though. Are you taking back your proposal?” He can tell she’s teasing, it’s in her tone, the way her head cants to the right with that little smirk she gets sometimes. She rocks over him and he watches her bite her lip.

“No, I just - I don’t even have a ring, _oh fuck_.”

Rey makes a pleased noise in the back of her throat and tips her head back. “Like that?” He hisses out an affirmative noise and she speeds up, leaning back until her hands are bracing her on his thighs. “Shoulda thought of that before you proposed, besides, don’t need a ring, just you.” 

Ben grunts, clenching his jaw because she feels so good he could absolutely come already. It was embarrassing, especially given how spent he should actually feel after several rounds last night. He sucks a thumb into his mouth and then returns it to her clit, rubbing quick circles over her until she’s screaming his name and coming around his cock. He fucks her through it, gentling his touch until she sighs, blinking down at him with a blissed-out smile.

“C’mere,” he says, letting her rock gently on him as she leans over to kiss him again. “I love you,” he tells her against her mouth, hands now palming her ass. She bites at his lower lip, and follows it up by soothing it with her tongue, then gasps in surprise when he lifts her off of him. “Shh, not done with you, yet,” he tells her, settling her on her hands and knees and shifting to kneel between her legs. He groans as he sinks back into her, and she stretches forward with a gasp, hands fisting in the sheets.

“I won’t break,” she teases after several moments at his languid pace, glancing back over her shoulder at him.

Ben winks at her, “I know, sweetheart.” He grabs a handful of her ass in each hand and squeezes, then moves to grip her waist, enjoying the way his thumbs can touch across the span of her back. Rey isn’t a small woman, taller than most of their colleagues, so it’s a bit of a marvel that near him she seems small. His thumbs arc down to press into the dimples of her lower back and he pulls out of her slowly before slamming back in, picking up his pace in an instant.

Rey’s ‘ _fuck_ ’ is muffled by fabric, but he still smiles, fucking into her hard and fast. He doesn’t even realize they’re moving until Rey’s palms are bracing her on his headboard. He eases up slightly, but Rey whines in protest, so he wraps her hair around his fist and drags her torso up until the back of her head is resting on his chest and he can look down at her. Her eyes are shut, but her mouth is hanging open and he grins at the sight.

“So fucking gorgeous,” he rasps and then reaches around her to rub her clit. “Come for me,” he pleads, “‘m so close, Rey.” She tries to nod, but her head barely moves, restrained as it is, and then she’s screaming his name and he’s moaning hers and they tumble forward onto the mattress and catch their breath.

Rey recovers first, rolling over in his embrace and then waggles her eyebrows at him, making him laugh. She kisses him on the nose and then shifts back. “So, City Hall?”

“Race you to the shower.”


End file.
